these comments you make are the veritable
pitfall
of my existence
which lately has been housed solely in my heart
and its beatings.
I know this is what passed
and that there shall be more that will come to pass
but my eyes wish that they were blind,
-no, actually
my soul wishes
my heart lingers
with the hope that it wont beat twice too fast
when I read what you wrote on the eyelids of other girls you kissed
long ago

my unhappiness is sinking me
even though my happiness should readily be the life boat keeping me afloat.

I was witness
to that last real breath you took
to the last time your cheeks had colour in them
I also witnessed
that time you became a statue
in the park of abandoned Soviet Monuments in Budapest
How I loved your immobility
your inability to change
the way your eyes became grey and your cheekbones
always sculpted by the edge of a razor
would never droop
I was witness to the spell a city cast on you.

ecause this inhibition/hesitation starts as something you find cute, charming, whatever

6 months from now it will prohibit your feelings for me from maturing

effectively stopping the progress of our relationship

and thus acting as a catalyst for the doom of "us"

bahahahahahahahahahaha

honey

there is no way Im falling out of love with you

I could write a psychology paper on this

your neurotic behavior?

10:02pm

no!!!

well that too

catalysts for breakups

just like the human body can be broken down into the smallest singular moleculues so can the end of relationships

I just want you to love me as much as you possibly can
all the love you can muster

I remember how scared I was to tell you I loved you
I thought I would get lost in the words
forming in my mind
swelling in my chest like the ocean, those waves, that foam that could drown it out in my lungs
thankfully it was rather cold that day
and since my lips were so cold it was difficult to form the words
that we both knew were coming
but I was scared to blurt out because it felt too soon, so soon, and perhaps insincere in its delivery
I was bashful.