its funny how the tiniest things can infuriate me to the point of not caring about people, and yet someone can do some massivly hugely against me thats terrible, i dont give a shit. this provokes utter confusion on my part of course.
what am i even saying?
but it was my thing first, and dont pick it as yours. i liked you better when we were different, not when it was all the same.
i dont like feeling pressure or bad energy from people.
and i hate it when people are nice to me, yet i dont feel like they are really nice
NOICE.
yeah thats right.
basically theres one person i can stand in the world right now. at this moment. and i think shes mackin on some boy with curly hair at her sex pad:)

i'm glad that i got something from plato, the fucking complicated bastard. sometimes people tell you that things will be good for you, so you go along with it. its good for a little while, but truly your not happpy. sometimes things are good for you, and although they can make you a little miserable sometimes, usually in the future. but it makes you happy and as ridiculous as this all sounds.. well im not making sense. but ive decided to only do what makes me happy, or DO whoever makes me happy... oh shiet mang.
on other notes, well there are none.
theres only so much time you can spend thinking and unfortunetly, msn before bed put too many thoughts in my head.

you can have it any way you want as long as you get what you need from it

my dad threatens to kick me out if i dont smile and act cheerful. i apparently ask for money all the time, because you know, the fact that i go to university is asking for a lot of money. its personal enjoyement really, i mean, FUCK if i was going to nscad, okay, it might be a bit personal. but im going to kings, and i went to kings not because i wanted to go to kings anymore but because i thought that was what i was SUPPOSED to do. this is making less sense to me than this fucking kings paper. who quotes something at you and tells you to discuss it for 1600 words? WHAT THE FUCK.
the only parts i enjoy are the parts where they show us the pretty paintings, by caravaggio today. that was awesome. i enjoyed that a lot. i enjoy my photography course a lot. that magnificent, and exciting and i cant wait to take pictures, and develope them. i want to take it next semester again, if i can. and another course. i cant get enough of nscad courses. THATS learning and thats soemthing that stimulates my glands.
i am sick of everything and everything is frusturating me and everything is frusturating.
i planned out my life in such a way that i could never hope to achieve.
i used to love ancient egyptians till i had to compare their various texts that make little sense nowadays.
AHHH THE GLOOM. the gloom the gloom. i like the word gloom, i wish i was a poetry major, i cant wait till we start modern works, that maybe i might understand. im determined to kill the paper on the waste lands, t.s elliot.
fuck ya'll, seriously.