concentrate concentrate

I want some
-records-new order!
-film- B&W, and colour, slide film too! Polaroid film!
-clothes-shirt, dress, pants, jeans, noice sweater
-shoes, boots- flats, flat boots.
-paintbrushes, canvas, watercolour paper, acrylics!-

when your friends say ""
what game will you play-
or will they even be around
to say nay?

I worry because you're 2 minutes from me and I'm 2 million miles away from your thoughts
too you bad aren't in love and I have to lie to myself tonight and pretend I'm not either.
you'll get bored of me
I dont admire you enough
but I dont know how to deal with this iminent end, are we just putting it off briefly?
its like cracking my bones, knowing I'll get athritis, but it feels so good for now, the damadge might be worth it ( I know it never is)
I admit I dream of this summer again, without anything holding me back from being SURREAL.
you seem to forget about me all the time, whilst your on my mind all the time-that isn't fair to the other regions of my body because they have decreased mental stability. you forget about my cuts, and colds, while I always know every injury.
you dont care how I'm doing, what I'm doing, whats new, never, because you just forget
you're working on my birthday, you forgot, you didn;t bother to get it off.
I dont know what to do anymore.

one colored
my eyes see black
I'll never be warm again and you dont even comfort me as much as I would like you too
I always end up feeling shitty about you,too bad you make me feel so good too.

sun shinning at versaille, skinny jeans, it was horribly hot and the sweat was getting to me, making my back itch.
too bad those jeans fell apart, just like everything else
my jealousy will one day eat my soul rotten and black, moldy from everything that surrounds me, all those tears that I always regret, I always regret being sad because I find its not worth the worries
its so windy today that I found I couldnt breath on my vespa.
its nice to be in love and dream, and nice to fall in love all the time
I'm daydreaming, I'm creating, i'm trying to exhude everything I can out of myself so that I dont go rotten inside because who knows what will happen in life, and sometimes that seems to be the one reason out of suicide
suiciiiiiiiiide, in my side, in my brain, its my ways, the days long waves, that i dont own, my hair is straight, and life is flat, as flat as the one coloured grey sky.

stop stop stop

there is mass hysteria brewing on my horizons because how can you be home and not have wet noses sticking in your ears-remember when you used to wake me up every single morning with that baby boy?remember when you used to crowd my bed, because you were my first sleeping companion and the best, despite all our bad dreams
this will be one of the hardest thing I ever have to do and I'm not giving up on you and I hope your spirit, youre beautiful spirit, will transcend itself into something earthly I can see and love every single day.
save me from tonight, from this week, I dont want to hear about seeing you again one day I want to see you now and always.always always always always always always always

icky icky little sticky
bones and post it notes
the little cute ones I stick on my tongue
wrap me round and break them through my neck
you're ripping me apart like every poem i've written, sang or dreamed
because I forget all the words but you are magical to me
and wont you sing and dance for me, with me, to me, to me always to me