I guess its a pretty way to ring in the new year, what to expect from shortcomings- I dont even know, I'm in love, shortly, always, I dont even know how I feel about love because it mostly makes me act stupid.
the onlyfeel good about anything when your here
but is there even any hope or future in this? because I see it, but I think you are blind
(mostly because you "lost" your ticket to the khyber in your wallet)
but sometimes I just want to run forever, your like a sweet speed pill( I never told you i took)

prancing all over the globe in a good(pretty) pair of shoes
I guess this summer i could potentially hit munich,salzburg,vienna,blava,piestany,budapest, and maybe a few days in slovenia, on the beach) and then run back to munich
Or i could fuck it all and go all out and well, go to paris.

France Gall, Charlotte G, Francoise H, you are singing to me in the most beautiful language
Metro maps are breaking my heart, street names, metro stops, filled up garbage cans of unrealistic hopes
sometimes I do think that love will tear us apart, but rather it will put us together, because I finally understand so much of it all, all those cigarettes a few months ago-BECAUSE IT IS ALL ABOUT THE AESTHETIC-dont bother to question my desire to return to where I felt uglier, because I felt like it was slowly making me more beautiful

but there is something to say about laying with my chin on someones shoulder, those kisses i wont feel anywheres else, and who knew sex could feel so intimate-I'm not just chasing after orgasms, I'm chasing after feeling like I was completly at peace, with love, and with our minds, something magical, so here is to loving,because I do need you in my life!

this christmas I am grateful-not just because I received things of aesthetic beauty but because theres more to it than that and I cant even be bothered to explain it, but gifts are beautiful.

I must be happy, I must be happy
there is something about you that makes me cry, which in itself is important-I cry easily, I'll admit that but not about people, usually other things. You make me happy, so very happy, but only when I'm with you. the root of the problem here is laying in the distance that I have to cross, the time that shapes us when were not together
we lasted all those long months this summer, this cant be it, i dont want to give up, i love you too much

 
I JUST NEED SOME LOVINNNNNN 

I guess every season passes down and then the leaves fall and people's feelings change, you cant expect them not to
this will have something positive to show me in a few months, I know that
but I miss you already, and I dont even want anything more
its stranger, what we've stored, inside my mind you wont see
and i did want you to, we get older, I get older this week and its funny to imagine
that you wont be there loving me
you wont
maybe you never were but I felt your heat no matter what
maybe i ruined it, i feel like i did
tumbling into ruins, one day I'll be King Tut, examining my ruins, because its so fascinating i guess

ongoing agony
eatinf mdo's inside of me
I cant taste what I see
no longer part of my memory


sometimes i write really shitty poetry, sometimes really shitty prose, but words make it more real and understandable and bring it forth while I try to deny it all the time