echoes of pianos drifting in my ears
that are banging at the sound of mozart, bach. I am glad to be here, I am glad I exist in your mind; but do I really and what is this worth to you, what does it mean, does it mean enough, do you even love me?
what does paris mean to me because, theres too many words that come into mind when I think of it, so dear, so kind so vain and so blind to everything else in the world, because fuck, the world leans down to YOU PARIS. you are the brightest, the city of lights, the city of nights, height and good fights.
now fall is coming and Im lonely, no one sees me, no one will, no one will move with me.and is it worth my compromising of my sanity, my intellectual habits, my smoking, my drinking, singing neutral milk hotel?
I have to make this choice that makes me sick and crying because I dont know what I should base it on, my deliverance to other people like I always do( lives of saints) or on my self, my selfish side, the side that battles with me because I breath easier with more pollution? would you do it for me? because if I know you would, if I know your willing to, I;ll go with you, ill stay with you, i will do what you want me to. ill test you out, like I always do and will. I apologize for that today but but but but but
I will clear my throat
I love you but make an effort please.