early this morning a proposal was made that will hopefully last into the next millenium and beyond that. I want the sky, the trees and the birds, actions speak louder than words
it feels nice to stare at you, I dont feel so ackward and nervous anymore. just soothed, really content, really ok with everything.

at the end of the day, I guess its kind of nice to know that no one will miss you when you're gone, no bad feelings about it. You wont break any hearts and there will be no emotion or crying, its sort of good.
I feel like I have no future, ever. It would be so much easier if I just had heart failure and died.

Maybe I'm just setting myself up for some major heartbreak, some major disapointment. I'm trusting too far and too soon and yet I feel ok by it. My breathing is regular and although my hands are shaking well.. when aren't they? since those days of smoking a lot my hands have been in a constant state of shaking. But I feel like for once things are ok, and things are sort of stable and I feel okay-ed. all the damn time. I need so much reassurance and for once i'm actually getting it AND i dont feel like a fucking idiot asking for it.

I've just been pranging about, taking in the situation
today i was so tired of everything that i wanted to slit my wrists to get out of doing work, french work, french tests, french presentations, everything. i've got school on my mind and its just loads of it and its driving me crazy crazyFUCKIGN CRAZY IM SO SICK OF EVERTTHING!
fckt,=...!!!!!

I cant even contain the goodness of this situation, this is wonderful all warm bodies cuddling dancing kissing limbs entangled hair stroking.
And yet i dont think ive been that sexual with anyone in agessss.
i cant complain, i really cant. i just hope it lasts!

IM JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS
what has even happened to me? I went from not wanting anything, to wanting a little bit, to wanting everything. this is how it works, I should know better.

Os Mutantes still reminds me of last spring, maybe always will? when people were still normal, there was high school and we tanned on the grass whilst skipping class like mad!
good times
so is cuddling, uhhhh infinite cuddling would be lovelyyyyyy