sick sick. i can't get over it, stop thinking about it, let it lay low in the back of my mind, because its festering. its a festering wound already. sometimes, (lie, most of the time) i wish i was someone else, somewhere else. i wish i was happy, i wish i wasnt so neutral, always shifted into neutral. then i go one step forward and 2 steps back.
i wont be loved, this is all unhawly.
i love the velvet underground. it reminds me of so much, so much of ME. of no one else but ME. this is something that i am selfish about, because when i think of myself, i think of that band, white light white heat. i am THEM, they are ME. FUCK YOU if you think im a moron, but everything reminds me of someone else except them. lou reed is mine, mine mine mine mine. those songs are mine, they are 9th 10th 11th 12th grade. they came before the boys did, they will stay longer than the boys did.
i'm fucking glad that banana is on my ass, fucking glad. no one can take this from me. i refuse to share it with anyone ever. i will NOT lose the velvet underground like i lost so many bands before. and even though i rarely listen to them nowdays because of so much other music, but whenever i do, it sounds as good as the first time.
MINE.