i am in tatters even more than my old jeans were
i dont miss those days but i dont look forward to today either
can you create an entirely new life? and how would i go about it?
i forgget i might be killed in france by a psycho who picks me up. in his bathtub he'll slit my neck and they will find me entirely in my own blood. i hope someone takes a picture, because that would be a beautiful picture. even more stunning if my skin was white ash, so pure and gleaming and then the stark red of my blood.
my obsession with blood continues. i study my veins, i look at my bloody kleenex. its the thing that keeps me alive and i forget it. its nothing else but that blood pumping through consistantly. maybe one day i will put a hole in my chest and plug it up with fresh moss.
i want someone to find my neck attractive and my little wrists. i want someone to see me as innocent and unknown and gentle, a little fawn.