There is a feeling of being faint
Unrealistic and unfathomably so because to be the greatest pessimist
you expect the least.
There is a line being drawn between what I expected and what I would want that I did not notice till
it cut my wrists, in a place one could hardly miss.
and here is am bandaging with smiles, hopes and
the faintest of laughs
but what could that be worst
if its all surpassed
by secret lives i do not know and by wonders that I dont want to see
this is not a part of me
its plain and boiled with no salt
and I want lavish deviled and spiced
you didnt have to be so nice
as to pretend to be here for me to want me
and above all that desire you created
for me
in my mind
how did you find yourself so kind?
because I cut as well, and I find the spots where no one else can tell
where only you can fear and judge
yourself to frightened to discuss
we shall see in this game for three,
who will be the one deceived.