I feel so fucking uninspired and angry. I get bouts of anger that creep in like bad cold fog on summer days that I just wanted to spend at the beach. it creeps in and my mood shifts to anger and doom and gloom and I want to pick fights with everyone.
its like one mental shift can carry the outlook of the whole evening. and tonight is the night that I hate my hair, and body and face and mostly my mind which does not feel filled with intellect, but rather oppression, the same pattern over and over, shifts of images that have already been done, illustrations already carried out to resemble words and lost direction, lack of maps, lack of money for GPS. this is not the night where I feel good, but where I feel obsessive and taunted.
Sleep only holds hazards these nights, just as something psychedelic would. its holds the power to harness my thought and turn it into a variety show of nightmares. I suppose I am obsessive with the things dark, yet perhaps I only hold such regard due to my imminent and infnite fear of all.
god help and hold us all.