there is two parts to me. the part where i can see myself alone in france. sitting in cafes, buying clothes, eating good food, meeting new people, going to clubs, hiking, being at the louvre. the part that is running around in scotland, hitchhiking. the part that is sitting on a train in switzerland taking pictures of cows and goats with bells under their chin. the part that craves bratislava and walking aorund feeling stylish. the part the london calls my heart where oxford street walks to my beat, top shop, busy bustling, the part where the train only pauses, never stops. i am a traveller and i always want more. i always crave the new, i always call another place home. the part that walks through graveyards and gets butterflies in my stomach when i just think of it. pannini in florence, santa maria novella, art galleries, good coffee, amazing ice cream, stockings, pupa in drug stores. the part that craves those new people, that expirience, those photographs.
then theres the part of me that is settling here slowly. sitting and waiting for a house in town, with white sheets, modern furniture, nscad art on my walls, my art on my walls, running into people, biscuit, italian market lunches, the commons, swinging late at night, being easy, smoking weed, drinking wine, feeling love, being cuddled, seeing movies, going to shows. people i know working everywhere, coming everywhere, never being alone when i;m in town, going into town alone and ending up at fair trade coffee shops drinking tea. dances, dancing, feeling comfort in knowing where im going, memorizing bus scheduals, falling asleep on the bus. there is a life here that i have that is so completly different from what i used to want, but for some reason ive grown to love it and crave it. its not just because of him this is me, it has to do with friends too.
maybe i need this. well, i definetly do need this. i;m worried about coming back, whenver i come back from europe, everything is upside down, i have no friends and ym life sucks. in the end it was worth it to lose those friends, but im tired of stripping down. i want to be settled with the people who i know i love now, at this point in my life for the rest of my life. i want them to always be there for me and around me surrounding me.
whats the worth.